La Guagua

This constraint is not named for the Caribbean Spanish word for “bus,” in common use in New York and, oddly, the Canary Islands. In Guatemala, where we are now writhing remotely, the word for bus is “bus” (pronounced “booss” of course), and this town, La Antigua, is filled with colorfully painted buses doing a second term of service after retiring as school buses from districts in New Jersey, Colorado, almost everywhere but New York.

So we’re in La Antigua, Guatemala. To be more exact, we’re in La Antigua Guatemala, Guatemala, and if we were in the ancient district of town (not that there is one, the whole town is colonial), we would be in La Antigua Antigua Guatemala, Guatemala. Antigua Guatemala is a pleasing placename because the last syllable of the first word and the first syllable of the second are the same, giving the succession “guagua.”

This constraint accordingly requires every next word to begin with the syllable(s) that ended the last one. I am interpreting the term “syllable” a little loosely to mean a syllable-length cluster of sounds, or else one-syllable words would throw one into an endless cycle of repetitions. And it’s more important to get the sounds to echo than to worry about reproducing the spelling, so that one word might end in –tion and the next begin with shun-. In the following examples I have begun and ended with “Antigua Guatemala.” It may help to know that there is a sizeable though not overwhelming gringo community here, the core of which has been here for decades, is well-heeled, and is approaching ninety. You see them lunching sometimes, before they are wheeled off to the late-afternoon drinks rota. There are also a number of young men and women here to study Spanish or work for some NGO, of which there are hundreds, so that there is also an extremely active drinking and dating scene.

1. Antigua Guatemala laments encircling Klingon goners, ersatz tsarinas, a renascent centenarian Aryan auntie in Antigua, Guatemala.

2. Antigua Guatemala, mal-a-propos propositions unsettle you till you ululate. Atypical pickled kill-jar jargon-gonzo Zoloft off-track actors, or something, think incompetent attention-getting tingly-gleeful. Fulcrum rum-unbalanced, lance-dick stick-up hiccup upscale aliens inspire pirating in gallant Antigua Guatemala.

The next one is in Spanish and sent me to the dictionary.

3. Antigua Guatemala, tema la mala languidez destruyendo dondequieraque, aquella llaga gallardia, diablura rancia, ciatica, tic a cagar, gargujo, jodito todo, dolorido dominio, ion oneroso, soso solidaridad – dadiva divagada, adagio yo no se, no sea antigua, Antigua Guatemala.

[Glossary and notes: “tema” is imperative formal for temer, to fear. “Dondequieraque” means “wherever.” “Aquella” (“that one”) refers back to “languidez,” to which “diablura” (devil's-work), “ciatica,” “tic a cagar” (shitting-compulsion) and “gargujo” (phlegm) are all appositive. "Llagar" means to wound and "gallardia" gallantry. "Jodito" means "fucked." “Soso” means “tasteless.” “Yo no sé” (“I don’t know”) refers to a popular café in Antigua, and “yo” is normally pronounce “jo” in Guatemala. We trust this information is helpful.]